Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
I could've eaten Alphabits and crapped out a better essay!!
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. A. Whitney Brown
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
There are three sides of an arguement -- your side, my side and the right side.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor. - Paddy O'Dea
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson
hilarious, aren't they?
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